Somehow an order of Beastie Boys patches accidentally got shipped to Homicide Rocker. Rather than bother with trying to return them, they’ve simply been put up for sale in the eBay store. If for some strange reason you want to buy one, click here to visit the store.
A long time ago….when i actually used internet radio…
Hey, i’m a poet and i don’t know it.
Anyhow. I once heard on HardRadio this band that i had never heard before. Well, that actually happened a lot when i listened to that station. But the band in question happens to be a noisy and dramatic bunch of frenchmen called Heavenly. What hearing them on the radio led to was me absolutely freaking out and immediately buying their stuff. Well, i couldn’t get the album that the song i heard was off of, but i got their second album, Sign Of The Winner. Thus began my idolatrous love affair with Heavenly.
Come to think of it, this is exactly how my idolatrous love affair with John West started. I mean, not by hearing Heavenly, but with…oh, never mind. Another day.
Now why would any ONE song spark such gigantic passion on the part of a person? Because, quite simply, Heavenly somehow consistently writes these absolutely unbelievable motives that each carry so much pathos. Listening to Heavenly is like consuming a thousand cans of Red Bull; without the Superman-piss taste, of course. Vivaldi would have loved them.
Of course, the quadridecaplextuple bass pedal helps too, i think….
Unfortunately, they have a very mid-to-late-Savatage-career-like tendency which drives me absolutely batty. And that is, they never hold a theme for more than a minute. Nay, not even thirty seconds. And the really spectacular melodies usually only last for a few lines. Argh! Makes me nuts.
Take for example, “Lust For Life”, the song i heard on HardRadio. That song has one phenomenal driving line after another. The effect of this song is kind of like being mowed down by various bands of marauding knights, one by one. But they never stop to chat. I mean, not that marauding knights should stop to chat or anything, but jeez. They could at least run you over a few times before vanishing forever.
Okay, enough with the metaphors. Seriously, in every Heavenly song there’s four other songs just begging to be let out. If they took HALF of the sledgehammer tangents they go off on, and made them into complete songs…well, not only would they have approximately sixteen albums (as opposed to the three they do have), but they would probably find it a bit easier to build a fanbase among the present power/prog population of Europe.
Of course, the fact that they don’t just makes the songs they do have far more interesting. Regardless, I’ll still stand by them and continue to be their only American fan.
I went to see Candlemass perform in New York City at B.B. Kings last month (May). It was a really great show. New singer, Robert Lowe really kicked ass that night. And I was just scratching my head going, “Messiah who?” Ha!
The band was really on fire. Playing a lot of old classics but a handful of new songs as well. The ones that really stood out were “Emperor of the Void”, “Devil Seed”, and “Of Stars And Smoke”, which are all from the new album!
Unfortunately, the set list was too short; only 12 songs. But nonetheless, this was Candlemass’ first U.S. tour since 17 years and it was an awesome show, indeed. The band closed the set with Samarithan, which is a bit weird because they usually end the show with Solitude…and what’s even WEIRDER is that Solitude was played at the beginning of the set!
I got a wonderful King Of The Grey Islands tour t-shirt! Can’t say it was wonderful coughing up that amount of money but oh well.
DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk about your inappropriate Christmas presents.
I don’t really care for the stuffy tradition of forced gift-giving too much. Even if the intentions were pure, the abruptness of it can only lead to disaster.
But i realize, even though i couldn’t care less, people are still going to want to get me stuff on Christmas. Right. So i try to make it easy for them so they can’t possibly fuck up. I like books and music. How difficult is that? If you happen to be blessedly privy to my character, you could venture into the realm of incense and stuff for the fish tank. Not too tough, eh?
(By the way, my dad scored HUGE cool points with the antique metronome!! I am so stoked!!!!)
Anyhow. I get this envelope from the Malinconicos. Now bear in mind, these are people who have known me practically since birth, and who have repeatedly provided such cool things as: autographed Dan Marino stuff, Panthers jacket, Giants/Dolphins used game ball, and various much-needed musical accessories.
So i’m thinking like, “Hey, i bet this is a cool gift certificate to FYE or something. I can buy that new Dream Theatre remaster”. You know, something that makes sense.
So what is it? A gift card to American Eagle. AMERICAN EAGLE??? What the….why don’t you just poke me in the eye with a branding iron???????
Naturally i’m grateful, but already i’m contemplating if the rectangular offender could possibly have some use, such as a coaster for my cat. I’m even wondering what would happen if i installed it in one of the internal ports in my computer. It has to be useful for something!! I tuck it into the King Diamond pocket of my fagbag and move on.
A few days later it occurs to me. Maybe AE sells watches. Like, ones that don’t have Spongebob Squarepants on them. Or wallets, perhaps. There has to be SOMETHING useful in that store.
So on my lunch break i venture downstairs. I really don’t want to go in there. But…I guess it’s either come up with a solution or give the card to the Dark Elf. I know he would be able to use it. *grumble grumble friggin emo rackin frackin grrr*
So, in the efforts of practicality, i take the plunge and step inside. From the doorway i can see every corner of the store; yet i note that the twig who’s hovering near the entrance is wearing one of those employees’ headsets. I am definitely not in Kansas anymore.
As is her job description, aforementioned twig immediately rushes to ignore me. I walk in, pause, and look about thoroughly for a good minute or so, as is customary for me to do. I felt a little weird as i was engulfed in a cloud of Avril Lavigne. Eventually i noticed that there was actually a TV with her on it. I immediately wished i hadn’t noticed that.
Onwards. I’m trying to separate the sea of pink and baby blue into some kind of recognizable shapes through which i can navigate. I finally spot some belts. Hey, that’s practical. I approach, to find that they are all the same style and come in two colors: Manly-Pink and Army-Barf. It occurs to me that i haven’t seen a single black thing since i’ve entered the store. This is going to be difficult.
There have to be watches around here somewhere. Or wallets. Or something. Something that isn’t pink and doesn’t say “American Eagle Sports blah blah blah”. Because apparently AE has a sports team for everything. Judging by the trash can piled high with Starbucks refuse, i’m guessing a lot of very sporty types come in here. They probably have an “AE Sports recruiter” that looks like one of the Beach Boys lurking around the back room, waiting for one of these pimply freshmen to express concern about his future. “See the world!! Play lacrosse!! Tipper Gore wants YOU!!”
Ha.
By this time i’ve made a lap around the store, i’m drowning in a sea of pre-fab, i’ve yet to be spoken to, and i still haven’t found any watches or wallets. And on my way out, i get lost in my thoughts and nearly mow down the cast of Baywatch, who are also on their way out. We all pile out the door at the same time.
“Have a good night, ladies!” the twig calls from the door. I’m trying to figure out if i’m included in that or if she was only referring to the Whore Patrol. I make a quick self-evaluation. Nah, i’m wearing a t-shirt. She probably thought i was a guy.
AE gift cards, with slight modifications, are great for breaking into the manager’s office.
I have the worst case of metalneck. And not even from the show. Post-Ryche, Metal Dave and i hung out in the parking lot for an hour and headbanged to Sonata Arctica. By ourselves. What a couple of fucking losers.
Queensrÿche entered the stage with “The Whisper”, which (according to me) is one of their greater songs. I was already anticipative, on the edge of my seat waiting for the show to begin, and I got visibly excited when the intro was played. But as Geoff Tate entered and began to sing, it was all completely and inexorably shot to hell.
All i could think was “What the hell happened to his hair? He looks like Jello Biafra!!!”. Actually, that’s not ALL i could think. i also had quite a bit of mental capacity to bash the fact that the song was dropped an octave. Fucking lame. All through the first act i was praying that they wouldn’t play any of my favorite songs. “Please don’t play ‘London’, I don’t want it to be tarnished forever! I enjoy the fact that i don’t barf when i listen to your CDs, please don’t take that from me…”
There’s a brand new H.R. shop in the works, and also a server switch slated for sometime in the next two months. It will all happen at the same time, so the moral of the story is to look for some major changes coming soon to a metal haven near you!
Certain bands are well known for their consistency. That is, they release the same album fourteen times, and everyone loves them for it. And that’s okay; as the saying goes, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. There is a certain niche in the world for bands who exemplify one characteristic, and who do it mind-bogglingly well.
Of course, Dragonforce is one of those bands. It’s a pretty good indication that they’ve found their niche when even the most hardcore fan can tell you, “OMG, they play so fast!!”, but rarely can bring to mind any other fact about the band, or opinion about their music.
Do you remember middle school science class, when the teacher would talk about the second law of thermodynamics? He or she would say that the energy in anything had a tendency to dissipate and spread out. In other words, saying that all things are moving towards a state of entropy. Everything will eventually lose its fire and burn out. Well, everything except Dragonforce. For whatever reason, the fury of their own momentum keeps carrying them at absolutely blistering speeds through their career, and they show no sign of giving up the status they’ve achieved in the metal world. They don’t seem to be bothered by those petty little laws that govern the universe.
But perhaps, in the effort of maintaining what they’ve built for themselves, they’ve sacrificed some kind of musical integrity? “Inhuman Rampage”, seems to have reached completely new levels of mediocrity for them.
Admittedly, the first 49 seconds of this album are just awesome! Dragonforce really comes through strongly with a sound that unmistakably says “Hello! We’ve progressed!”.
Unfortunately, it soon becomes clear that they lied about that.
Twenty minutes into the album, you’re only on track three…and you feel like you’ve been listening to the same riff for hours. This is, of course, notwithstanding the reality of the situation, which is that you have actually been listening to the same riff since 2003.
Admittedly, there are a lot of new and exciting sounds and variations on this album. The problem is that they are all old and worn out by the time the first song is halfway over. The rest of “Inhuman Rampage” is just boring. Yes, there’s something inherently wrong with referring to Dragonforce as “boring”. But somehow, this time around they’ve managed to achieve that status. Perhaps “Inhuman Rampage” is just inopportunely falling on jaded old ears, but it comes off as tiresome and extremely wearying to listen to in its entirety. It’s difficult, even, to distinguish where the songs end and begin, or to recognize any memorable melodies.
After forty minutes of aural strain, “The Flame Of Youth” gives the first noticeably cool, catchy, and remotely distinctive moment since the first track. Then, as if realizing that they had made a drastic mistake by breaking the monotony of “Inhuman Rampage”, Dragonforce immediately casts aside any creative songwriting they were doing and degenerates as quickly as possible into the-rest-of-the-album blues. Sorry everyone, false alarm. Please return quietly to your homes, and don’t forget to change the CD on your way out.
The first, independently released Lanfear album was well-received by fans and has been described as “the best German self-released prog metal album ever”, but failed to draw the attention of any record labels. After some restructuring, Lanfear was signed to Massacre, and began the album-releasing frenzy. “Another Golden Rage” is the second Lanfear album on Massacre Records, and unfortunatly, those original fans most likely will not be happy with what they’re hearing.
First impressions mean a lot, and the first impression Lanfear gives is a positive one, filled with good aggressive power metal and strong vocals. This could be a despairing indroduction for the longtime fan of proggy Lanfear, but new listeners won’t have any trouble wrapping their minds around the opening title track. Unfortunately, the album gets extremely awkward, extremely quickly.
In the next song, “The Unrestrained”, Lanfear is touching upon Prog influence and seem to have stumbled upon a style to which they are perfectly suited. Having now found their niche, they immediately abandon it in favour of something far more mediocre. Track 3 is a veritable march to mediocrity which could at best be described as “lame”, but at worst could be described with a colourful barrage of adjectives that would have brought blush to the cheeks of Richard Pryor.
In fact, halfway through track 3, it’s been decided that you don’t like this album at all, but (unfortunately) you go on listening in the hopes that what you are presently hearing was only a temporary lapse of sanity on the part of the band. Therin lies the path to insanity. The album only degenerates from here, leaving the listener with a jaded mindset which makes the rhythm seem weak, the solos seem less than virtuoso–and the singer’s voice, which was once heroic and stirring, now seems only raspy and grating. In “Transmigration”, the belting out of the lyric “Your soul is mine!!!”, which should by any rights be absolutely awesome and completely metal, comes across as rather flaccid and unconvincing, and elicits such cheesy responses from the listener as the temptation to say out loud to nobody in particular, “I’ll keep my soul if you don’t mind, but thank you for your mild interest”.
“Another Golden Rage” now slides into the obligatory mid-album instrumental. “Eclipse” should really have been the introductory track, as in its present position it ends up serving less as an interlude and more as simply a wretched mental disturbance. (Although, if anything other than “Another Golden Rage” had opened the album, it’s unlikely that the listener would have endured so much so far in the hopes of receiving its justification.)
By the middle of track 9, you’re not sure if you’re listening to epic German power metal, or 80s pop ballads. The album has made a complete downward spiral into oblivion, and from this point on only grates on the nerves drainingly and with incredible, endless tenacity. Turn it off, for the love of metal, somebody turn it off!!
Lanfear truly has wonderful promise for a solid sound that they simply didn’t find on this album, and the haphazard approach of “Another Golden Rage” shows them flailing to ground themselves in something deeper. There are good aggressive guitar licks on this album–the problem is that they just don’t lead anywhere! “Another Golden Rage” comes across as if Queensryche had been forced to write a power metal album against their will. And with their in-between Power and Prog sound that isn’t quite fully developed in either area, one thing is certain: when “outliving The Ages” finally fades out, the silence is welcome.
Check out The Merch Corner in the forum, where you can make your voice heard about what new bands and merch YOU want to see. Vote on items and share your opinion; I read every word of it.
There are a few bugs on the site at the moment. H.R. is undergoing a supreme overhaul, and until the new site is put into place there will be a few quirks. If you have any serious trouble and need some help, feel free to e-mail!
